Surgery went well. When you have a lumpectomy they also do a separate incision to check your lymph nodes. They can actually check your lymph nodes during the surgery to see if there are any cancer cells present. They removed 4 lymph nodes and they were all CLEAR of cancer. Not a cell! We have between 20-30 lymph nodes under our arms and if any cancer had been present in the 4 that were removed they would have removed them all and THAT would be another story that I don’t have to tell (thank you Jesus!).

The surgery was done on Tuesday, July 3rd and the next 3 days I was feeling fabulous. I remember telling my mom that I felt guilty being off work because I felt so good . . . LOL, welllll the drugs they gave me were REALLY good and probably were still in my system for those 3 days. They had also given me a “patch” for nausea (side effect of the anesthesia) that was put behind my ear. I was suppose to remove it in 3 days, which I did and because I was feeling soooo good, when my daughter came down to visit we all went to Smashburger (because it’s just the best burger ever!).  Very, very, very oh so very bad idea. I thought I was going to die! OMG . . . I was told to watch what I ate the first 24 hours (I did) . . . well I was told by a dear nurse friend of mine that I had eaten everything they tell surgery patients not to eat, grease and dairy was at the top of the list. Let’s just say it took another month before I walked into a Smashburger again. Oh yes, I’m back – love that place.

I spoke with the surgeon’s office that Friday after surgery to check on my pathology report. I spoke with Jane and when I asked her what the results were she hesitated – seriously – omg that gave me a stomach ache. Then she said “there wasn’t any cancer”. I said, “oh good, so they got clear margins”? She said, “no, there was NO cancer” . .  huhhhhh!!!??? She then told me that “my dot” must have been so small that it was ALL removed in the needle biopsy  . . . huhhhhh!!???

Wow, that was crazy, unbelievable . . . she said that it has happened before but very rarely. Hmmmm, well thank YOU all for your prayers because I totally felt blessed!! Hmmmm maybe I won’t need any other treatment!! . . . wrong.

Dr. G & Me

Surgery . . . July 3rd, 2012. My mom came up to stay the week with me. We had to arrive at 6:30am for surgery at 12:10pm . .  realllyyyyyyy 6:30am (I’m soooo not a morning person)!! Anywho, there were a couple of things they needed to do before surgery. When you have a biopsy they leave a tiny titanium marker in your breast for future reference as to where the biopsy was done. Before surgery they do a small procedure to help identify the marker for the surgeon. So after that, mom and I sat there and visited with the nurses coming in and out for the next few hours.

God is good and I actually felt very calm & peaceful (my blood pressure reading didn’t agree – LOL). Maurene & Pat came and stayed until the surgery. Everyone at the hospital was great – soooo friendly. Two of the nurses that came “in and out” both had previously dealt with breast cancer. They were very helpful and encouraging. Then the anesthesiologist came in, what a kick, Dr. H. There was so much laughter coming out of my room that I’m sure people down the hall were wondering, “what the heck”. I told him to make sure he gave me the good stuff. He said I wouldn’t even remember saying goodbye to mom and the girls . . . . . not so! I do remember saying goodbye to them, I remember being wheeled into the surgical room and I remember Dr. G holding my hand as I went under. Ahhhhh that was so nice of him. (Seriously, if you have to have someone cutting on you, he might as well be tall, dark and handsome!) 😉

I took my friends, Pat & Maurene to the surgeon’s appointment on June 28th. We met Dr. G and Jane.  Dr. G explained that when it came to breast cancer surgery there were only 2 options: lumpectomy or mastectomy. He also explained that radiation (follows lumpectomy) and an oral medication would be part of the treatment plan. He explained both surgical options and then asked me what I wanted to do. So I asked him for his opinion and he said he didn’t want to influence me either way. Seriously? Well I thought that was a little odd, isn’t that your job (no liability issues I guess). How the heck should “I” know what to do, it’s been like a minute!

I told him that I was always of the mindset that “if it ain’t broke don’t fix it” so I opted for lumpectomy (it’s a dot). He said I was a very good candidate for that – oh, ok good to know (I would later read, in my generic white breast cancer binder, that in MANY cases a lumpectomy is just as successful in preventing recurrence as a mastectomy – didn’t know that). He asked me if I had any plans I needed to work around in July and I said NO, let’s do this asap. So surgery was scheduled five days later, July 3rd. I thought perfect – I would celebrate the 4th of July being cancer free! A little poetic I thought, Independence Day.

So they set me up with pre-op appointments that afternoon and sent me home with a large white 3-ring binder of information on breast cancer. SERIOUSLY – I have stickin’ breast cancer and you send me home with a generic white binder in a little carrying bag? It had a black & white picture of 4 women on the front of it. SERIOUSLY, that’s the best you could do????? I didn’t need it blinged out buuuutttttt it could have had a bit more thought put into it! (p.s. working on that – LOL)

One of the more difficult times during this process was when I had to tell my kids. Jason (27) was strong and encouraging. We were sitting at his house and I just starting crying. He said, “mom, it’s going to be OK”! It’s hard having your kids tell YOU that it’s going to be OK – that’s my job to be telling them.

Amie(23) was much harder. I showed up at her place unannounced and she knew something was wrong. I don’t drive up to see her during the week (1 hour away). When I told her what was going on we both just cried. When she asked me “Mom, I just don’t get it, why is this happening”? I told her I had nooooo idea, but THIS I know for SURE . . . “God will not give us more than we can handle, and He gave ME a dot!!” That is truly how I feel. It soooo stinks that I have to go through this and it soooo stinks that Breast Cancer will now be part of my life and it soooo stinks that when Amie gets older she will be asked at her check-ups “do you have any family history of breast cancer”, now she has to say yes. That breaks my heart.

Soooooo you never know what your path in life is going to look like. You have a plan, an idea, a dream and then it doesn’t quite go the way you were thinking. A bit of a detour, a bend in the road . . . just take a breath and move forward, one day at a time. Here we go . . . . . this is the beginning of my “It’s a Dot” journey.

I finally made that “yearly” check up appointment with the doctor the first part of June. Did the whole physical thing – blood test thing, mammogram thing . . . all of it. My blood test results came back great . . . cholesterol good, even my vitamin D was good . . . women make sure you have your vitamin D levels checked, especially as we get older. I received a phone call regarding my mammogram. They wanted me to come back in for a 2nd one. When I went in and asked “why” the second one, they showed me a very small area on the Xray (magnified a ton) and told me it was calcium deposits “huuuhhhh” . . . evidently calcium deposits from our milk ducts are quite normal in women “my age” . . . seriously my age . . ok, so anywho they took more pictures and told me I needed a biopsy. I just started crying. OMG . . . what????

One week later I was having a biopsy. The doctor had told me that sometimes the mammograms can’t see through the calcium deposits so they request a biopsy to make sure there is nothing else there. OK, well that made me feel a little better. Let me just say that I am a total woos. One of my dear friends took me to the biopsy appointment and waited for me while the procedure was going on – the actual procedure only took about 5 min. but the whole appointment  took an hour and 1/2. (Thanks Pat!)

Five days later I got the call, “I’m sorry to tell you this but we found cancer cells”. Wow, I was just shocked. I was driving back to work from lunch and I just didn’t “get it”. How is this even possible? What did she just say? Oh my word, this just can’t be real! It felt very surreal . . . I could hear the words coming through the phone but it was not making sense. I am a pretty healthy person and haven’t had any health problems, no breast cancer in my family. I just sat in the parking lot at work and cried. It was sooo overwhelming.

I went home and about an hour later Jane, a nurse called me from the surgeon’s office to set up an appointment. She told me the biopsy had removed a 1.5mm cell (hence the dot) of invasive carcinoma grade 1 (well defined cancer cell) and  high grade ductal carcinoma in situ (pre-cancer cells). Biopsies are graded from 1-3 depending on the findings from the pathology report (3=angry). The cancer  “stage” is determined after the pathology report from the surgery. I actually felt a little relieved. The cancer cell was just a grade 1 & contained – not bad – that was the lowest grade.  A dot – seriously . . . it’s a dot, no biggey, right?!. . . well then she set up the appointment for a consultation with one of the  surgeons to discuss lumpectomy or mastectomy. Woooooough! Uhhhhhh . . . it’s a dot! My surgeon would be Dr. G (that’s what I’m calling him) and my consultation was set up for June 28th . . . . to be continued.

Soooooo  . . . I just got back from having a bone density test and a blood test (information for the medical oncologist) and while I was waiting I realized that I have taken my top off for more men in the last 30 days than I have for the past 15 years!!! (yes, I’m laughing at myself, Denise!)