So I will start over from the beginning but for today . . . I’m meeting with the Radiation Oncologist to discuss my treatment. I have 2 good friends coming with me because 6 ears are better than 2. I’m just praying that it won’t be a long treatment (they call it radiation therapy . . . does that sound better???? LOL), but I’ve been told it’s an everyday visit,  same time everyday and could be for 5 weeks.  Uck . . . not looking forward to that. But the sooner it begins the sooner I move forward. As bad as it was to hear the words Breast Cancer . . . there have certainly been blessings in the midst of this . . . to be continued.

You know we all experience hardships in our lives. Some worse than others. Sometimes it seems like life throws us a curve ball out of no where. Well the curve ball came into my life a little over a month ago “Breast Cancer”. Those are not the words you want coming out of your doctors mouth. I have seen specialists (still seeing specialists) and have undergone surgery. It was suggested to me to journal this time in my life to help me process everything. So I hope you don’t mind but over the next few weeks I will be sharing this journey with you. I do appreciate all of your prayers and support. God is good and He will see me through this.

You know I’ve never been a fan of waiting. I actually hate waiting. Waiting leaves me feeling like I have absolutely no control. I don’t consider myself a control freak, BUT having control does bring me a sense of security, a sense of knowing what to expect. Well waiting kind of ranks up there for me like having patience. I’m not a big fan of having patience either. Waiting means I have to be patient, that I have no control, that I don’t have a choice, that I HAVE to wait.

Well I had a bit of an epiphany yesterday. In some circumstances waiting can be a choice. In one of my first posts on my blog I spoke about “choice” seeming to be a common thread in my life this year. Well yet again, choice has reared its head. A couple months ago a dear friend of mine told me to look up Psalm 27:14 in the Bible. It says, “Wait on the Lord, let your heart take courage, wait on the Lord”. I wrote it down & stuck it to my bathroom mirror and that’s where it’s been for the last 8 weeks, until yesterday morning when I threw it in the trash. I threw it in the trash because I had enough waiting. I was discouraged and felt like I deserved an answer to my waiting. Last night I realized that I was the only one who had a deadline to “my” waiting. God doesn’t have deadlines. He tells us to pray unceasingly.

I realized that “for me”, “for now”, waiting IS a choice. Whether you are waiting for a job, a relationship, a medical diagnosis, a financial windfall, there are some things we have no control over. However, we can control how we choose to react to our “waiting”. I realized that in the “waiting” you still have hope. While you’re waiting, you’re hoping and hoping is not a bad place to be.

So, last night I took that Psalm 27:14 note out of my trash, stuck it back on my bathroom mirror and I drew a happy face on it . . . ’cause I love waiting!! LOL